Posted by: Monica on: September 4, 2008
I’ve created a new blog today. This blog will no longer be updated. The new blog is Life in the Middle Lane
I love my readers and I hope that you all follow me to the new site. I am also developing a professional blog to talk more about government/work-related stuff Just in case you don’t know how to subscribe, I will have a little subscribe button in the sidebar. If you are still having problems, send me an email.
Posted by: Monica on: September 2, 2008
Cover Your Ass: A verb. Describes what happens when something goes wrong and the sh*t hits the fan at work, and everyone starts scrambling to save themselves and their jobs. They are covering their asses and making sure that they can’t be blamed.
I didn’t learn what CYA meant until I started working for the government. Not that CYA wouldn’t be just as important (or probably more important) in the corporate world but I’ve never really worked in the corporate world so I don’t know.
Today, a close friend of mine reminded me why CYA is so important. She is faced with her first real clusterf*ck in the workplace. A real ethical dilemma, this is. When she told me what was happening, the first thing I said to her, Cover your ass, girlie! I know and she knows that she’s being manipulated like a mutha. And it sucks ass.
She has been working for the past month, researching a new software package to help a department work more efficiently (government is always trying to be more efficient). Today she finds out that she isn’t really researching software to compliment a department, she’s researching software to REPLACE the department. That means that there are people who will lose their jobs. Ain’t that some sh*t?
She called me to be her moral compass and to tell me the workplace gossip. Then she asked me what she should do. And I said, cover your ass! Why? Because she intuitively knew that what she was doing was wrong, because her first instinct was to go tell the department what the jig was, because these people are her friends and she is about to f*ck up their world and because she knows she’s being manipulated by upper management.
At the end of our conversation I said, Welcome to the real world. Congratulations, you are a manager.
Posted by: Monica on: September 1, 2008
Senator McCain,
You picked a woman as your running mate, you sleazy bastard, but I let you do that and I didn’t say anything. Everyone knows that it is just a ploy. How stupid do you think American women are? At this point do you really think that any woman will do? Well, no asshole, that is not so. We love Hillary for a whole host of reasons, one of which is the fact that Chelsea has turned to out be normal, almost attractive, and not an embarrassment to her parents or America, another is that Hillary is f*cking qualified to be in the White House. Your beauty pageant queen is not.
Then I see this sh*t and I laugh because you are dumber than I thought, you couldn’t even pick a woman that would bring something positive to the ticket and help coalesce your political base. You see, if Republicans believed in birth control like the rest of us, then you would not be going through this. Let this be a lesson to you.
Being Republican is like being the devil.
I hate you, you technologically illiterate old man.
Posted by: Monica on: August 28, 2008
I used this past weekend in a way that I will likely be unable to continue once the semester gets heavily underway. All weekend, I basically did two things:
I drank a lot and watched HOURS of tv. ( I also organized my calendar for the year and watched a concert, but those are minor details)
How does Monica watch TV without having her cable install yet???? (damn cable installation hours!!!!!!)
Well boys and girls, I ordered Netflix. Maybe, I’m late to this game, maybe my friends are all losers and don’t know (except L who is smarter than all of us) , or maybe we just spend so much time AT the movies that we don’t really need to watch them at home, but at any rate Netflix is all new to me.
So last week I got one of those Netflix fliers in the mail for a trial subscription. I went to their website, loved everything (it’s cheap, and I get as many movies as I can watch). I immediately signed up and will have my fave 50 movies coming to the crib in no time.
The best part about NetFlix? I can watch stuff online.
Which is what I did ALL weekend (in between drunken party fests) Me on my couch, with my computer on my lap watching my new second favorite thing.
WEEDS!!!! I love this show. I watched 2 seasons of this show over a 48 period. I am insane. And I can’t wait for Season 3 to come in the mail. I’m going to try to make it last a little longer this time, though.
And the one thing that still scares me? Scary f*cking movies. The first Netflix movie (Zodiac) came in the mail on Friday and I knew that I couldn’t watch in alone. I planned initially to save it for the next time I was in the A so that I was sure to have someone to protect me in bed. But I’m stupid so I decided to watch it with my mom on Sunday.
We didn’t start the movie until after 6 and between potty breaks and phone breaks, we didn’t finish the movie until after 9:30. And guess what? By then, it was dark and I had to drive home in the dark, go home to an empty apartment and sleep by myself. And guess what else, I was scared to death! So scared, in fact, that I slept with the kitchen and bathroom lights on, so that I could see if a serial killer was lurking in the shadows. And I dreamed all night about folks trying to kill me. Definitely not a good night’s sleep.
Posted by: Monica on: August 27, 2008
Two things:
1. It rained like crazy today. Today was the first in my life where I needed some rubber rain boots and I really f-ing wanted some. Someone please buy me a pair. I ruined a pair of tennis shoes swimming through the deluge. I mean, really. I was knee deep in water. Size 10, por favor.
But most importantly:
2. You did good Hil. I’m proud of you. I know that making that speech was difficult for you. There were some points where even I raised my eyebrows, and felt kind of bad for you. You conceded with poise and grace, and I almost believed you. One day I hope to be that good. You are officially reinstated as my hero. Love, Monica
